Dedicated to our wives and children, in the hope that they may forgive us for what we've done.

And there's much to forgive! From sleeping with each other's female companions, more child support payments than you could imagine, to every drug under the sun, The Dirt is often times more an education in how NOT to live your life than in how to be a rockstar. In fact, when the band venture to mention their 885th visit to their group shrinks, they seem a little more like a psychological circus than the motley youngsters I once adored.

What the intellectual Crue fan can appreciate, however, is that this is no picture book. With 430 pages of text, vintage black n' white shots, and a smattering of color shots to fill the median, The Dirt is an actual piece of literature. Albeit Hemingway won't be shaking in his boots, but it's still a reader's read.

For those of us who only care about the DIRT, there's plenty of it. From Mick's battle with a rare, degenerative bone disease, to Vince's 1986 trial for manslaughter, to Tommy's decision to leave the band, the men of Motley tell it all. The amounts of cash that they admit to spending on mansions, drugs, therapists, and travel will make you nauseous; their sexual antics would make Bacchus squeam. If you can overlook the fact that Nikki comes across as an insincere whiner, and Vince, a Californian beach princess, then you'll leave unscathed. If, however, the thought of your heroes reduced to petty drug addicts, losers, and professional cheaters strokes a sore spot, then don't read.

Somewhere deep down inside, I still feel bad for John Corabi- a man who was shafted from the spotlight for a tubby bimbo. I can relate to Tommy's aching heart, and Mick's physical agony. I want to throttle Nikki for just about everything he admits to doing, and I'm entirely unmoved by Vince, other than when he speaks about his beautiful daughter Skylar (who lost a battle to stomach cancer at age four). I once worshipped these men, now I'm just disturbed.

The Dirt will dish it, but can you take it?